Psalm 147:8

A friend of mine used to say that he knows God is good because He made eating so enjoyable. I would laugh. Its funny because its true.

God could have just as easily decided to make eating completely routine and lacking in pleasure (or displeasure as is sometimes the case). In fact, He could have designed our bodies to need no source of nutrition at all! He could have made us photosynthesizers, could have allowed our bodies to create our own energy, cold have created our bodies to not even need energy. Eating is only a necessary part of life for humans because God decided it should be that way.

But why? Its not like creating non-eating humans would have taken more time, like self-sufficient humans were the 3G model and he just didn't want to spend the money to upgrade! So why make us reliant on food, and why give us the joy of eating delicious meals? Because its how He teaches us things. We see the contrast between God's power and our non-power when we rely on his manna from heaven. We learn how to crave His Word, to need it and also to love it and revel in it, by comparing it to our daily bread. In creating the natural world, God reveals to us every important lesson. Fact: God was using sermon illustrations before sermons were born.

All of that is a very long introduction. The point: God reminded me of something very important today, and He did so with a storm. "Wow, thats quite a storm!" I thought. "I'd better stay inside, away from windows. Take shelter, get as far from the danger as possible." (alright, I'll admit, there was this crazy little part of me that wanted to go sit in my hammock in the middle of the downpour. but i try not to listen to that part. its little. and crazy.) Storms equal danger. Very real danger. People die in storms; homes are destroyed; the pain that a big storm can cause is very real.

Driving home after the storm subsided, however, I realized something. The grass is so green! The trees that are still standing look proud and strong. The street is strewn with the already dead petals that had been lifelessly hanging from their stems for days, but the flowers that held on through the storm are brighter and happier than ever. The same storm that brings destruction and death also bring rejuvenation and new life!

God did not have to make it this way. Sure, he could have made storms horrible things that only brought pain and suffering. But he also could have made storms light and easy! A little rain for the parched flowers, a light breeze, like the lovely 15 minute mist I always looked forward to on Spring Break in Florida as a kid - a quick way to cool off the heat of the day, and then on with life as if nothing happened.

Instead, God made storms hard, even frightening. They crash in the sky and drown the earth and rattle my windows and echo in my chimney and make my dog hide under the bed (not that he doesn't do that anyway), and then they peal back and reveal something absolutely beautiful. If you've never stood outside right after a storm and smelled the air and made a mental note of how bright the colors of the earth are under the still-grey sky, you can not understand what I mean. But if you have shared in that joyous moment of calm, you know that in that moment, the earth has never been more beautiful, more... right.

So why did God make it this way? Because He is good. He wants us to understand His nature, so He infused it into Nature. He created the physical world to reflect the spiritual world, gave us something we can see and smell and feel to help us understand something much deeper and far more important.

Don't hide from the storms. Dig your roots deep into the soil and prepare yourself, because the storms will come! And guess what. That next storm might actually tear you to pieces. A terrifying thought, no? But what if you just brace yourself, stand tall, and let the rain soak through you? When the clouds lift, you just might be left stronger, healthier, and more beautiful than ever - not in spite of the storm, but because of it.

Father, thank you for your protection today. Thank you for the beauty and strength that has come from this storm. But also, thank you for the storm.

Sundays with the fam

"I'm so excited for Sunday morning! I love Sunday mornings!"

Jamie said that to me tonight, and we both laughed a little, because we realized how counter-cultural it is. Actually, I said the exact same thing to two girls at work the other night and they looked at me like I had three eyes. "Church? You ENJOY church?! I barely SURVIVE church!"

So I have to wonder a little bit, what is the difference between me and Jamie and these girls at work. Is it the church itself? Or is it more about the heart of the church-goer? Would I feel this same way about Sunday mornings if I called any other church home? Maybe its a combination of the two. I really don't know.

All I know is, I look forward to Sundays! They are like an energy-boost! Seeing so many others who are walking the same walk I am, fighting to be faithful followers (please note the awesome alliteration). Knowing that all of these people are living for Christ in this city gives me so much hope!

I don't mean to say that the music and the message don't inspire me. They do. They intensify my worship, challenge my faith, stir up in me a desire for righteousness. But most Sundays, its the people around me that are the most inspirational.

Last week a man came up to me before service started. I'd met him once, the week before, and to be honest, didn't even remember his name. But he came over, shook my hand, and said, "I want to thank you for the Crazy Love book." He told me about how the book had really spoken to his heart and how excited he was about how God was leading him! What a huge blessing, for this man to share his own inspiration with me! This is the openness of someone who is truly experiencing Jesus!

Another thing I love on Sundays is just watching people interact. We have such a diverse group at IMC, but that never seems to hinder the love our congregation shares for one another. Just last week, watching a young man leave his seat to help an older woman in the congregation carry her breakfast to her table, I had to smile. This is the love Christians are to show one another. This is the Spirit incarnate. We ARE the body of Christ. To see others living that into reality is inspiring, to say the least. I am not always good at loving my neighbor, but my church family reminds me of how beautiful it is to be like Jesus!

God is alive and moving at Indy Metro Church. He is doing crazy things in the hearts of his followers, and inspiring ridiculous acts of love in our city. And I'm pumped about it!

More

An excerpt from a blog dated Sept 20, 2007:

"What I've learned so far...

in Introduction to Economics:

Yes, that right. I've learned something in that wretched class. I've learned that life is about scarcity of resources. There is never enough.

not enough sleep

not enough money

not enough time

not enough love

not enough understanding

not enough clarity

not enough discipline

not enough comfort

not enough confidence

not enough faith

not enough passion

not enough organization

not enough of me"

This post went on to explain my Professor's view on economics. He argued that the American way to handle financial problems is to just print more money. We did away with the Gold Standard years ago and have been printing money rampantly ever since. And we see where it has gotten us. When we create more of what we lack, somehow, it just increases our need. Its a snowball effect. My blog continued:

"There is not enough of all these things, but is it possible that having more of these things would not improve my situation? If I were somehow able to manifest passion out of thin air, to just suddenly have more passion... would I have enough? Would more clarity solve my problems? Or would it actually create new problems?

Not that I want less of these things either. By no means am I suggesting that less organization would make my life easier.

However, perhaps the problem has nothing to do with 'having enough.' Maybe the problem rests in seeing things as 'problems.'"

"Not enough" is just a state of mind.

on friends

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my mom about friends, and she asked me a question that I found peculiar at the time, but have thought about quite a bit since. "Don't your friends get mad when you do things without them?" It seemed to odd to me that I didn't even understand the question at first. "Like, you go to a different church than they do. Or Laura hangs out with people from work that you guys don't know. Don't people get mad?" I thought about it for a bit, but it still seemed odd... Why would they care?

It turns out, not everyone is blessed with friends like mine, who value independence as much as I do. In some friend-groups, you do what the group does, and you do not do what the group does not do - to stray from this norm is an act of rebellion worthy of severe scorn. "Why don't you want to hang out with us?" the friends say. "Have we done something wrong? Do you not enjoy our company? Are you too good to do what we do?"

How ridiculous.

And how fantastic it is to be among friends that allow me to be completely me. A group that values individuality, but doesn't require it.

I spent a few days with my sister in Chicago after Christmas, and while it was enjoyable, it was also a bit stressful. Not because my sister and I have a rocky history, and not because my car got stuck in snow and ice everywhere we went, and not even because I was drenched to the bone within minutes of stepping outside. It was stressful because my sister and her friends put such emphasis on individuality that I felt the need to be... extra unique?

She took me to stores where "individuals" shopped, and to the "good" bars, where everyone listened to only local bands and wore clothing they made themselves. It was like a competition among them to see who could be the most off the wall and out of the norm. In one store, my sister said, "isn't this sweater ugly?! I'm totally getting it!"... and she did.

When I went home for Christmas I hadn't been planning to go to Chicago so I only took enough clothes to get me through the 2 days at my parents house: jeans and a few long sleeved t-shirts. While I sat on her couch in my full-on Gap ensemble, my sister ran in and out of her closet trying on outfit after outfit. I read a book, while she stood in front of the mirror. We went to a few bars in an area of town she didn't know very well, and several of them we walked right out of, without hesitation; they were too... I'm not sure of the word, really. But they were filled with what my sister called, "those kind of people" - that is, well-dressed, well-groomed people. Apparently, we don't associate with those kind of people. I didn't tell her that I think I am one.

Coming home was nice, because I got to be around my own friends, who know me and love me. Who require me to be no one but who I am.

A few nights ago, I realized just how special my posse is. We went for a late dinner at a new restaurant we'd heard about. When the food arrived at our table, a well-dressed man that I assumed to be the house manager was assisting our waitress. He commented, "I like your style. Appetizers, desserts, you name it!" I hadn't even noticed. I had eaten a late lunch, so I just got spinach dip. Laura got a dessert sampler. Leslee got salad and calamari. Ryan had coffee.

And none of us noticed until the manager mentioned it. No one asked, "I think I just want dessert... are you getting food? ok i'll get food too. wait, will someone else get dessert with me?" We just ordered what we each wanted and moved on to the real event of the evening, the "Loaded Questions" cards that Laura had brought along in her purse.

I love my friends.

upon finding myself awake at 4am

I realized yesterday that I have 3 notebooks in my purse most of the time. The smallest is a pocket sized orange and brown one, used for things like grocery lists, driving directions, and other little notes I feel the need to write. The large blue striped one, titled epic, is a journal that I've had for years and only write in occasionally, when big life changing things happen and I feel the need to document them, or when I have so many thoughts in my head that I need to write them down to figure out what I think or want or feel. Its like a blog, except that you aren't allowed to read it. The third notebook is one I started over a year ago. Its perfectly square and paper-bag brown. The word NOTES is embossed on the front, and I've crossed it out with a pen and written underneath, QUOTES (brilliant things people once said). I think the title is fairly self-explanatory. It is a documentation of the well spoken thoughts of others, some that I know, some that I don't. I love this quotebook more than most of my possessions, and I hope to pass it on to my daughter someday so that she can glean as much from these brilliant minds as I have. And now, a collection of some of my favorite passages in QUOTES. 

"Going on from there was the bravest thing he ever did. The tremendous things that happened afterwards were nothing compared to it. He fought the real battle in the tunnel alone, before he ever saw the vast danger that lay in wait." The Hobbit

"Music hijacked worship." Aaron Story

"What if sin's most perverse quality is its ability to masquerade as self-righteousness." Steve DeNeff

"If part of being smart is knowing what you don't know, then part of being holy is knowing what you're not, admitting it, then doing something about it... Even as intelligence is not simply the absence of ignorance but also the presence of a learning spirit, so true holiness is not merely the absence of sin but also the presence of a humble and eager soul." Steve DeNeff

"In the face of overwhelming odds, if you still have a huge desire to move ahead, chances are you have latched onto something divine." Andy Stanley

"While I have no desire to let hypocrites off the hook, it seems that obedience is love's final test, but never its first. Those who back forward - who love God even though they disobey him - will end in obedience, because it is impossible for them to behave for very long in a manner inconsistent with their nature." Steve DeNeff, More Than Forgiveness

"Thought, purpose, logic, industriousness, but without radiance or love... think of it. Isn't that an accurate description of Satan?" William Sullivan

"So much of the time, we ask what we ought to do, but most likely if we aren't doing what we ought, its not because we don't know, its just that we don't want to." Dr. Marti Steussy

"Believe this:

God really loves you

no matter what

God is always good, always for you

God actually forgives you

past, present, future

God wants to be intimately close

to you

All of these things are true,

whether you believe them or not"

"Holiness has but one fear, that of losing the friendship of God." Nicholas of Cusa

"Hope is the inner conviction that there is still a chance, a future, a purpose, a justice to life. It is more that optimism. It is the bedrock belief that our story has a plot, that all of the pain and nonsense in this life will one day converge at the feet of One who can make sense of it all." Who else, but SDeN.

Ok, so that was more than I intended to write, but reading back through all of these, there were so many good ones!!!!! I hope you can get as much from them as I have. :)

I've fallen in love

Driving to work last night, I turned onto Capitol and had the perfect view of the city skyline. The deep purple sky, the silhouettes of buildings, the twinkley lights. Lovely. I thought, I can't believe I get to look at this view as I drive to work!

Driving home this morning was even better. The white fluffy clouds swam in pink and yellow as the sun rose over the city. Gorgeous. I thought, what a perfect view. How relaxing after a busy night at work!

Indianapolis has stolen my heart.

How unexpected.

My Shelter

If you have been to Indy Metro in the last several months, you know the premise of the book of Nehemiah pretty well by now - we rehash the story every Sunday. If you haven't been to IMC, and aren't aware, good news. They finished the wall! Despite massive opposition, the people of Jerusalem rebuilt the wall that was once in shambles (and in record time), all because of the leadership of one faithful man and the protection of one faithful God. So that takes us through chapter 6 of the book of Nehemiah... now what? Out of 13 chapters, the wall is less than half of the story!

It turns out this is not a story about a wall, it is a story about a people, who happened to build a wall. Preparing for Sunday morning, the creative team met tonight to discuss chapter 8 and what we might be able to bring to the service. "What is the point of chapter 8?" and we discuss.

"The people are coming together to hear the Word of God, the Law of Moses. They come together to worship and to celebrate." They come together.

They came together. The wall was not just about building this structure around the city, it was about building the people in the city. They came together for a common purpose, and God reunited them and brought them back to Him. Its kind of beautiful.

But driving home, something was still bothering me. The rest of chapter 8: God commands the people to build tents out of olive branches and fig trees and sleep in them for a week. Ok, so I made the connection - the Festival of Ingathering, when the Israelites lived in these kinds of shelters for 7 days and worshiped God to remind them of His protection when they were wandering in the wilderness. "But why now? Why do they need to build a monument to remind them of God's protection... they have the ultimate monument - THE WALL! Its the perfect reminder of God's protection, of what He has helped them accomplish, of what He has done for them and through them. Why are they building something to celebrate building something?"

And then the answer came. "They needed to remember. Not just to remember their history, but to remember that this wall was not God's first act of faithfulness. They needed to remember that God has always protected them, taken care of them. This wall was not the first time. And it will not be the last." The shelters make sense.

And I'm driving. "How comforting to know that God has always taken care of His people. I've always known Him to care for me, but to see that He's done that since the beginning... its so basic, and yet so life-altering!"

And I'm driving. And I drive past a woman on the side of the road. And that thumbs up does not mean she approves of my driving skills. She wants a ride. I don't really even notice her until I'm right beside her, and by then I'm past her. Of course, the guilt kicks in, but its always accompanied by the warning words of my dad. "You could be robbed or shot or raped or left for dead! You don't know who you're picking up! Don't you EVER... etc. etc." And my own words, "Its a bad neighborhood. Its late. I don't even know where she's going."

And then I remember. "The wall was not the first time God took care of His people. It is what God does. It is in His character. If we are faithful and obedient, God will protect us." I turned around. And I'm glad I did.

Thank you Father for the opportunity to practice faithfulness. Forgive me for my doubting and anxious heart. Help me to trust you more fully. And please bless Brooke. She's had a bad night.