"just" semantics?

"You are cautious with your words," a new friend said to me the other day. It was a profound observation. We had been discussing some heavy stuff and several times I stopped myself mid-sentence to define a word I was using. Not that I was using big, complicated words, and not, by any stretch, that this guy I was talking to was dumb. I defined the words I used carefully because I wanted to be understood precisely. When I talk about "perfection", it is important that he understands what I mean by perfection, because to him that word has a completely different connotation.

Today I was talking with this same guy and I found myself saying, with a touch of exasperation, "Semantics!" The conversation had turned to social justice and he was talking around the topic, choosing his words carefully. And I was annoyed. But isn't this what I was doing just days before? So this evening, I've been thinking about this issue of semantics, of language, of meaning. I'm not sure I've resolved the issue in my head yet, but its 5:30AM and I can't sleep, so I'm going to pour out what I've got so far into my computer and hope the conclusion comes to me before I come to the conclusion. (See how I used that word to mean two different things? words. love 'em.)

In the spirit of semantics, I thought it would be appropriate to look up the meaning of the word semantics (the irony of this didn't actually hit me until just now. go ahead, take a moment to chuckle to yourself... now, moving on). My macbook dictionary widget tells me that semantics is "the branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meaning" and also "the meaning of a word, phrase, sentence, or text". It also uses it in the sentence, "such quibbling over semantics may seem petty stuff." I imagine the authors of this dictionary got a chuckle out of that sentence, since they, of all people, understand the importance of semantics. They probably majored in it in college! Looking further, Webster's dictionary gives us this definition: "the study of meanings; the historical and psychological study and the classification of the changes in the signification of words or forms viewed as factors in linguistic development." It gives whole new light to the idea of saying what you mean... or is it, meaning what you say...?

Our words are wholly important! Seriously powerful! Each and every word we use has meaning, and in most cases, several shades of meaning. Language is not an exact science; it has a human component that must not be overlooked. We understand words through the context of our own experience, and yet we typically assume that everyone around us understands these words in the same way we do. I'm getting a bit metaphysical here, so perhaps its time for an example.

When I say, "God is a perfect Father," what do I mean? Well, I mean to say that the Divine Person that I understand to exist and who I call "God", as a part of his character, possesses the traits of what I would imagine to be a perfect father. I had a friend who would never call God "Father", because his own earthly father was abusive and the word held such distasteful connotation that he refused to use it in reference to God. To this friend, the term "perfect Father" is a contradiction in terms, like calling someone a "loving rapist". The words are so powerfully opposite that the adjective cannot possibly qualify the noun. When talking to this friend, should I instead say, "The Divine Person that I understand to exist and who I call God possesses, as a part of his inherent character, a loving determination to help me succeed in life"? But then, to another person, the words "succeed in life" might be taken to mean "be rich and powerful and famous" where I truly mean "live in a loving, compassionate service to God and his creation, with a full understanding of the grace and love I am given."

I could go on defining the words I'm using all night (or all morning, as it is now 6:06AM). I won't do that. This blog already has too many words, all of them probably inadequate. So I'll move on.

Most words have several denotations, each with individual connotations, and "semantics" is no different. Webster's also defines it as "the language used (as in advertising or political propaganda) to achieve a desired effect on an audience especially through the use of words with novel or dual meanings." This is why I cringed when I called my friend on his careful word choices. It is the difference between using words to say what you mean, and using words to not say what you mean. It is, in short, word abuse.

I wish words were easier. I wish I could just say what I mean, simply, and know that you would understand. I wish I were better at putting my thoughts, my meanings, into exactly the right words so that even the shades of meaning were fully understood. But for now, I'll have to settle for muddling through the sea of words, trying to find the right ones, and often, pausing to define the inadequate words I have.